Mind Changing Preparation Exercise

Day 2. We are given a Mind Changing Preparation Exercise.

On this second day of preparation before Ash Wednesday, we come with clear consciences and minds in Christ, which have allowed us to think about and to consider all that our Jesus has said to us, and wholeheartedly believe Him. It is with cleaned and clear consciences then, we are brought to this exercise of Repentance.

One thing which I have learnt and learnt with fear and trepidation is this. To fake repentance is a terrible thing with God. To be told of one’s sins, but stubbornly and quietly think that you are not as guilty or as wrong as is being said, stifles you from honest, true repentance. This is what I mean. I am told that my way of thinking about prayer and praying, for example, is displeasing to God. I listen and in humble manner, I accept what I am told and in the presence of all, I repent. However, in my mind, I see nothing wrong with my prayer life, but for peace sake, I go with the religious flow. Do I really believe that God will easily be insulted, without a Word or two of harsh rebuke? No! If we fear God, repentance will be true and genuine.

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. Revelation 2: 4 – 6.

Repent

Repent! Having considered, we are called by our loving Lord to repent. If indeed we fear and love the Lord, then we have no choice but to repent. Repentance here in this preparation exercise:-

Is not being sorry for the works we have been doing in our Lord’s service.
It is not that we have abandoned God, lusting after false gods.
It is not that we have been blatantly disobedient in the service of God.
It is not that we have been speaking against our Master.

Oh no! Repentance here is knowing and sorrowfully admitting, without any kind of excuses whatsoever, that we have forsaken the love we had at first with Jesus. This is where it becomes personal to each of us. Will you not just admit, but accede to the fact that indeed, you have lost a lot of your first, spontaneous responses to Jesus? You once looked forward to each day with Him, come rain or shine, heat or cold, stormy weather or mild weather, but not again. I know for sure that this is me, for I was not even aware of how far I had drifted in the honey-moon type love I once had for my Lover – Jesus, the Lover of my soul.

Only when I was brought to face this reality, did it grip me and I could not offer one bit of explanation or find one feasible sounding excuse as to my utter coolness. I say coolness as there is no outright coldness and there is where I was totally deceived. One of the things for which I was not aware, was my daily time at school with Jesus. At one time, if something happened and I was unable to have my special time sitting at the feet of Jesus; and I mean my hours from 3 am to 6 am and sometimes earlier, I ensured that the day never passed without me sitting at His feet, even if I had to be there until midnight. Now, I seem not to be disturbed as much, if I am unable to have my full quota of time with Him. I say a few words or something that seems worthwhile to me, and say that tomorrow will be different. Are you thus wise guilty? O how I must repent and do so, fully guilty of such an unholy, ungodly and undesired practice.