Life-Pain

O Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus? And Abram said, You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir. Genesis 15: 2b - 3

The Lord has come to Abram in a vision and has told him about his future, telling him he must not be afraid because, says God to him,

I am your shield.
I am your very great reward.

Immediately Abram spills out these most painful, deeply sad and hurting words, as recorded in the text at the beginning.

What Abram is saying is that God has given him no son, so he has to settle for a servant to be his heir. Listen to the human mind, heart, desire and soul that cannot remain covered and hidden anymore. Abram loves his Lord and obeys Him. He knows and acknowledges that God has been good to him, that he has received much from the Lord, yet there is one thing he desires, but it has not been given to him. This is the thing that Abram has hidden, concealed, closed tightly within his heart, not in any malice, hatred or anger. No! He is not angry or upset with God. He does not blame God or anything like that. He simply carries this pain, secretly and quietly.

Look at how this hidden, deeply concealed life-pain comes out, without even batting an eyelid. See how it just springs out uncontrollably. God has visited Abram in a vision and among other things, tells him that his reward will be very great, because God Himself will give it to him. Out flies the pain. Can you not hear the pleading, honest, exposing voice of Abram? Can you not see how this can easily happen to anyone who is carrying such hidden pain? Listen to this hurting voice.

What can You give me that will be so great, O Sovereign Lord, when the greatest thing, that which I so want, has been denied me all my life?
What can You give me that is so very great, dear Lord, when I have to take unto myself a servant, to be my son?
What can You give me, Sovereign God, that will take this pain and longing from me?
What can You give me, Mighty God, when I am unable to bear the one fruit, for which I so long?

Again, I emphasise that Abram is not angry with God, nor does he blame God. He simply uses the opportunity to uncover his life-pain to his Lord, only after the Lord promises to be his very great reward.

Where are you and where am I, in this? These are not scars, not wounds even, but the Life-Pains we carry, because of what we desire, but to this day, never have. Let us be further exposed, as we continue to ponder more deeply into personal truth, through Abram. May the Sovereign Lord, through His Holy Spirit, open our eyes to see ourselves in Abram and to hear God through Abram and this Word.

May we be also made open, to see our PAST as we look at Abram’s: -

Page in Life - He is at the today place in his life, where he hears and believes this present promise of giving from the Lord. The Lord God promises to be his very great reward. It is what he is hearing now, today. That is the page he is on at present.

Age in Life - He is of age to have a son, but instead, all he is able to have is a servant, a substitute for what he so long desires.

Stage in life - He is a blessed man with a household and servants. He has family around him and he is wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold. Genesis 13: 2.

Triage in life – He is at the point where his life-pain is articulated to his God. For those like myself who had no understanding of triage in terms of Abram, the simple explanation given to me, will do beautifully for you also. Collins Dictionary gives this meaning. Triage is the drawing of wine from a barrel prior to bottling. The wine has been fermenting in a barrel and it will only be ready for bottling, after some is drawn off, tested and tasted. Is this not Abram at this now moment? He is God’s wine, God’s servant, in whom the promise of God has been placed. God, as it were, skims off some more of Abram’s faith to see how ready he is for the next stage. His pain has been touched, stirred, disturbed from its quiet, buried, hiding place. His pain has been brought to the fore, and will be skimmed off by God with God’s words to him.

What is your life-pain? What has the Lord brought up in you through this meditation with Abram? What is the deep pain that you would rather leave buried and not be interfered with, because your past has seen no change, and today, it is still your present life? As painful as this may be for you and for me at this moment, as much as you and I are loathed to deal with our life-pain at this time, let God have His Way. He alone can and will change, life-pains to life-gains.

Will you pray now with me?